Come by the fire
Lay down your head
My love I see you’re growing tired
So set the bad day by the bed
—Sara Bareilles, “Orpheus”.
I discovered Sara Bareilles way too late in life. Apart from her well-known tracks, her performance of Elton John’s Goodbye Yellow Brick Road is simply outstanding.
I don’t usually like to tell people what to do, but you seriously should go listen to it right now!
And when you’re done with that, check out Orpheus, the subject of this post. I heard it for the first time a few weeks ago, and since then I’ve found myself so drawn to it, playing it over and over on repeat.
And rest a while
Your eyes can close
You don’t have to do a thing
But listen to me sing
—Ibid.
Need to brush up on your Greek mythology? Me too! Here’s a summary of the story of Orpheus and Eurydice, if you’re so inclined.
TLDR: Orpheus is rescuing Eurydice from the underworld. His gift is his musical ability, and he uses his lyre and voice to charm his way past many enemies in search of his love. (The story ends in tragedy, but that’s not the part we’re focusing on here.)
You miss the world
The one you knew
The one where everything made sense
Because you didn’t know the truth
—Ibid.
The song opens by painting a picture of someone in a very low, sinking state of chaos and darkness. There’s something about the rhythm that keeps gently moving everything forward as if to say:
“Yes, I see you. I know you’re in such a dark, desperate place right now, but I am here with you. I can’t fix it but I can give you my presence, and please, let that be a comfort to you.
Let that be the thing that keeps you warm and holds you back from fading away completely.”
So often when we see people struggling, we want to dive in there and fix everything for them, and it’s so hard and humbling to realize that we can’t. You can’t go inside someone’s head and sort it all out for them, and you can’t magic away their life situations and make it all better.
That’s how it works
Till the bottom drops out
And you learn
We’re all just hunters seeking solid ground
—Ibid.
But you can be with them, and you can create an environment for them where they feel safe and can find a respite. You can show them your love and your care, and hopefully they’ll feel it.
Don’t stop
Trying to find me here amidst the chaos
Though I know it’s blinding
There’s a way out
Say out loud
We will not give up on love now
Ibid.
It’s a song about love, and faith. About staying with a person when they can’t see a way out – not giving them the way out because you can’t – but giving them the faith, through your presence, that there is indeed a way out and they will get there.
The Hebrew word for this is nechama, meaning “comfort” or “consolation”. Don’t get me wrong, simcha – “happiness” – is wonderful. Who doesn’t love feeling joyful, ecstatic, elated?
Yet, when I think back to some of the most meaningful times in my life, and indeed the times I’ve felt the deepest emotional pleasure, so many of them were moments when I experienced nechama – of being deeply comforted in a time of pain, of having someone sit with me and listen, of feeling completely heard and seen.
I hope my love was someone else’s solid ground.
—Ibid.
No solutions offered, no ways out given. But I knew I wasn’t alone, and somehow that was enough.
